enough?

Do you ever feel like what you are doing in life isn't enough?


Not that what you are doing doesn't matter or isn't a big deal... just that you could be doing something more?

Sometimes I feel like I need to go away. Not go away as in run away, but go away as in go do something productive for God. You know, like missions.

The problem is that I feel and have felt that my gift is teaching. I love it. I feel as if I am good at it. I love the crazy, puberty-stricken, hormonal, gifts that I call my students. I know that there is a huge mission field in teaching children (middle school for sure) but I can't shake the feeling that it's not enough. True, I haven't actually started REAL teaching where I make every single lesson plan for every single day, where I teach the SAME lesson 6 times a day and then repeat with a new lesson the rest of the days of the year. So maybe I will feel more useful when that time comes around... but I am nervous that if I settle down and start teaching somewhere that I won't ever have the courage to go do something different.
A perk about teaching is that I do get summers off and I fully plan on doing missions during my summer holidays. But is it enough? I have no clue.

Maybe I'm panicking because I'm about to graduate and the next "logical" step is to get a job that pertains to my degree and settle down. Maybe it's something like "pre-wedding jitters" except for me it's "pre-world jitters." Who knows.

All I can do is pray, keep my eyes and ears open, and especially keep my heart open to whatever "it" is God has in store.

I don't like this part.